Even when you plan not to plan, you can’t help still having…expectations. Faint and gossamer-like maybe, but nonetheless, underlying strands on which you expect your endeavours and adventures to be based. So whilst I didn’t know what I was going to do day-to-day in Chiang Mai, I knew that a) I had a friend here who would look out for me in the first few weeks if I needed it, b) that I could quickly start rebuilding my relationship with my body by getting fresh air, exercise and sunshine as I walked round markets, temples and other interesting vistas to nourish my brain and c) that I could quickly read and engage with all the improving texts and books I’d brought with me.
But the universe and I didn’t share the same views. It decided to sit me firmly down on my backside and remind me that there was no rush. And that no expectations really was the best way to be. And that I really didn’t have anything I needed to do.
Firstly, my good friend here had a family emergency, and has had to leave Chiang Mai to return home to the UK for Christmas. I feel desperately sorry for her, and despite us only having caught up for a few days was really sad to see her go. And one of my expectations was gone.
Secondly, after 5 days of mostly sleeping and feeling dreadful, I took myself off to the Doctor’s, and she diagnosed bronchitis, antibiotics and another 10 days of rest.
10 days! Unthinkable! I had things to do – edifying books to read, cafes to sit in, temples to visit! And I needed to start now or I’d never tick everything off in The Lonely Planet!
This expectation didn’t disappear quite as easily. The first day after the Doctor I really chafed. Well, when I was awake. I set my alarm, and got up and showered as if I was going out. And then I lay back down on my bed and went back to sleep. But I felt guilty when I woke up.
The second day, I didn’t set the alarm. I slept till the afternoon. I got up, had a read, and then had another sleep. Read a bit more, had a sleep. Watched the TV (‘Fox Asia’ the only English speaking channel), had a sleep. You’re getting the idea now I think.
And all the time, I kept thinking I had things to do. And that I should be doing them. That in some way things weren’t living up to my expectations because I was ill and staying in the apartment, not out there making the most of things. It’s amazing the list of obligations we can create for ourselves in the absence of other, more structured and traditional responsibilities.
And then I slowly realised that I didn’t actually have anything I had to do. Nowhere I needed to be. That the temples and cafes would still be there when I got well. And that in fact, some rest could only do me good in the long term.
Of course, this is probably all very obvious for you reading this (especially if you know me at all).
But whilst I don’t subscribe to things happening for a reason – ‘why me’ just isn’t a useful or valid question to ask – I do believe we can and should learn from our experiences. This illness has been a true white-space between the UK and Thailand where I’ve had some enforced rest, sleep, and read about a dozen books (all on GoodReads if you’re interested).
I’m not at the end of the 10 days yet (that’s Christmas day…), and I’ve started to go out for small excursions (like coffee), but there’s still plenty of room for sleeping in my day. And I intend to keep it that way.
Daily details
On a lighter note, several people have asked me for some details on what it’s like to live here. Yes, I am drinking bottled water (and I think I’m ok for the reminders on that one now thanks!). In fact, the water’s not potable here, so everyone buys water. Once you have a container, it costs about 10p for 5 litres, and I can buy it from a vending machine in my apartment block. Not too onerous…
In terms of the locality, I’m staying in a more residential area, with mainly Thai people around. The apartments have some western travellers of different kinds, but there are also young Thai professionals living here. The restaurant downstairs, ‘The Salad Bar’ also has a real mix of locals and visitors. It’s pretty close to the town Stadium where you can go at any time and use the facilities. At most times of the day and night there are people walking or running round the track, and a busy, community feel. It’s a nice place to be living, as it’s away from the real hustle and bustle of the tourist / city areas, but easy enough to walk or get transport there.
Chiang Mai was originally surrounded by a square moat with city wall, and the moat (and the odd bit of the wall) remains around the old city. The moat is really clean – in fact, generally I’ve been really impressed by how clean the city is overall, not that I can claim to have visited much! My apartment is a few hundred yards North of the top of the moat, and it doesn’t take long to walk into the old city and explore. Of course, you have to cross the ring roads to get in – I’ve started to be brave and just walk across, and trust that no one runs me over. I’ll let you know how that works out….
If not walking (or on a scooter/bike), you can get either a Tuk-Tuk or a Songthaew (‘Song-Tau’). A tuk-tuk only takes two people, and so is like a taxi (ish) and is therefore more expensive. A Songthaew is like an open-backed mini-bus, with two benches of seats inside, which anyone can flag down, and creates its own route depending on where the passengers it picks up want to go. This is really cheap – the last ride I took was only about 20p, but it’s slower because you have to go where other people want to go first. Of course, if you’re in no hurry, that makes it much more interesting.
Trapped in my apartment so much I’ve eaten my own food for the majority of the time so far, which I’m pretty sure is more expensive than going out. Mainly this has consisted of scrambled eggs and cheese sandwiches – yes, you can get bread, cheese and eggs here no problem (in fact, eggs, weirdly popular). The first thing I ‘made’ in my kitchen was a scrambled egg sandwich with my microwave and a borrowed spoon and bowl. I even spread the butter with my spoon. Very Blue Peter. Crockery and cutlery are on the list for some of my excursions soon.
Things I like less here are the ants. They are everywhere, even in my third floor apartment. You can’t leave any food out, especially sweet things as I have learnt to my cost. The mosquitos have also found me, despite my DEET infused repellant. Others (people not mosquitos!) who’ve been here a while don’t wear it, so I’m hoping they’ll find me less tasty soon – I currently have at least 10 bites…
It’s still very hot – about 30degrees in the day – but I’m amazed at the number of Thai people who wear heavy coats. Everything really is relative.
In other news
- I have only seen my Gecko a couple of times since the last post, he mostly lives behind the sofa. I loved the name suggestions, and was very impressed with the creativity! If I see him again I think I’ll try out Eddie (L)izzard and Gocke (though ‘Gordon’ was highly tempting too…)
- I don’t have a tan yet, but do have ‘a bit of colour in my face’. At the (very relaxed) massage place I’ve been to, they said I was ‘very white’ several times, although seemingly in an admiring way rather than derisively, and I opened my eyes at one point to see one of the other girls (not involved in my massage) stroking my face and saying ‘very lovely’!
- There’s not much sign of Christmas where I’m living, but in the tourist areas there’re a few bits of tinsel. They look all wrong against a blue sky though.
- Please do send me Christmas comments/emails/facebooks! I’ve loved the responses so far, I’m really grateful for your interest and kind words, and will reply to you all individually soon, the bronchitis has definitely slowed me down.
tess bullas says
Glad you’re starting to feel better – and glad that you’re learning to slow down. We broke up today and intend to turn the alarm clock off for 2 whole weeks. Love Tess and Simon x x
ellenmbard says
Hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas and NY, enjoy your last official Christmas break before retirement (I know you are counting each event down across the year!). Love to you both and Katie, Dave, Matt and Jane x
Alan says
Hi Ellen,
Thanks for your missives. You write very well and it’s great to hear how your trip’s going. Meanwhile I’m on District Line train home, costing way more than 20p. Standing room only, though less crammed than usual as people are taking time off for Xmas.
I’d love to send you pics of the boys but not sure how to do that via your blog. Any suggestions?
Take care
Have fun
Alan x
ellenmbard says
Hi Alan, have sent you an email so you can send me some photos, I would love to see how the boys are developing, sure they must be even bigger than when I last saw them! Hope you and Ann are managing to hang on in there, sure it will get easier!
love to you all x
Ellen Dunne says
El. So glad to have news of you. Appreciate the otherness and relax into it. Love you. A El xxx
ellenmbard says
Thanks A El! xx
Gillie says
oh Ellen, that bronchitis, or some sort of grounding bug(ger) was almost inevitable – it happens – great to hear that you’ve ‘gone with it’. It’s been cold and wet and dull here lately (get the picture?!) but today the sun’s shining again thank goodness. Enjoy the company of your little Gecko – they eat the mosquitos, so he’s a good friend! So good to hear your news, keep it coming! love Gillie x
ellenmbard says
I think you are right Gillie, it was bound to happen, but it’s on the way out now, so I am keeping body and mind strong by healthy input into both. Lovely sunshine here, hopefully everyone not too jealous! Not much Christmas-ness though, so it works both ways. Have a great Christmas and NY break, Ellen x
Chris says
Delighted to hear that hyou are nearly back to normal.
Your accounts are more interesting than the Alan Wicker travelogues of yesteryear.
Keep the prose coming. Love G’Dad XXX
ellenmbard says
Thanks Grandad! Don’t worry, I haven’t run out of ideas yet, and am finding it a very good prompt for taking photos which I am usually useless at. Love to Grandma and you xx
Ed says
Rather than a like or a poke, perhaps we can communicate our likes by doing an electronic stroke of Ellen’s lovely face ‘very nice’.
Too weird?
X
ellenmbard says
It was pretty weird…but hey, who doesn’t like to be a ‘lovely face’??! Stroke away! Happy Christmas lovely Teddy xxx
Ellen Dunne says
Intriguing, Ed! How do we do this electronic stroking of El’s lovely face?!
Anne Bard says
Hi El, it’s lovely to read your commentary and I get a real sense of what it’s like to be there. Sooo sorry about the bronchitis thing but it’s God’s way of saying slow down -ho! ho! Ho! Keep resting and keep safe.
Love you
ellenmbard says
Thanks Anne/Santa! Hope you have a good Christmas and keep in touch. And let me know what else you’d like me to write about – that always helps, especially as you are such a seasoned traveller – I’m thinking of visiting Vietnam and Cambodia too at some point (maybe…) so let me know what and where you recommend! x
El Kuin says
Happy Christmas Elles. Maybe your body is purging itself before recovery. Miss you loads but glad you’re enjoying yourself. xx
Ian says
Have a sunny 30 degree Christmas – keep the blogs coming and think of us back home in the rain… xx
tess bullas says
Happy Christmas El! Enjoy the sun, still raining here……… x x x
Ben Smytheman says
Hi Ellen,
Merry Christmas!!! I have enjoyed reading the blog posts – although they could do with some random capitalisation 😉
Sorry to hear you haven’t been very well, but still, I’m sure you have plenty of time to see everything and sleep is always a good thing! Have fun and avoid all forms of systematic planning!
Ben
P.S
Weather crap in UK!
ellenmbard says
Thanks Ben! Hope you’ve got someone as dull and anally retentive as me looking over everyone’s work with a pink pen!
All’s good with me here, much sleep is very beneficial. Plus, of course, the heat and sunshine… Very little planning going on, but I do wonder how long I can work against my natural personality profile 😉
Happy New Year to you and all the team
e
Tessa Kelly says
Ellen, so enjoyed reading your story so far with your mother sitting beside me on the sofa in front of the fire while the non stop rain lashes the windows. Well it did stop for a bit today, time enough for a 3 hour walk on the Common, Mary got very wet feet but that’s what you get for not wearing proper boots! Sunshine and open air cafes, I wish! A world away! But actually wild weather does help that Christmas feeling. I hope that you had a good one too.
TK
Ben says
A gaggle of young female masseuses stroking you whilst murmuring ‘very lovely’. Sounds awful to me. (actually I’m telling the truth – I was once described as ‘the most tense person I have ever massaged’ by one on a spa day with Helen. I’m surprised you’re OK with the whole touchy feely thing (especially considering our goodbye hugs!) 🙂 )